And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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