Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
