bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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