He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
