We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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