I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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