I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
