How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
