White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my sisters under your porch take her home
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
