That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
