He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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