sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
