i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
foreskin is a definite game changer
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
