I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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