"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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