I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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