i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She even gives head with a lisp.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
