You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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