32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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