yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
