When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
