i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
