Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
