Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
