she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
whose parrot is this?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
