Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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