Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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