I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
