$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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