it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
