Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
