Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
