he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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