Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
