my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
