i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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