just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
