dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
