I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize