I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You were trust falling into bushes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
