the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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