Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
