I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize