Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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