Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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