I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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