thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
