singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
