NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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