my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
