She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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