Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
