i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize