btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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