trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
