Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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