that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
