rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
