I wanna bring you to show and tell
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
