Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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