We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
