Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
