just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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