Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize