remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
