For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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