Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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